Drunk & Disorderly Conduct
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Post-ep 5x04 "Haunted". Written in response to Kavi Leighanna & Sienna27's TV Prompt Challenge #11 - Dawson's Creek "High Risk Behavior". Co-auth'd w/tonnie2001969. Rossi ends the night slightly intoxicated. What happens when JJ finds him? Multi-chap
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N - I need to thank a wonderful co-author, tonnie2001969. Without our "round robins" many of these stories would not exist. Also, thanks to Kavi Leighanna & Sienna 27 for their wonderful TV Prompt Challenge Prompts. If you haven't already, please check it out. Again, I do not own Criminal Minds._**

**DRUNK AND DISORDERLY CONDUCT**

**PROMPT: DAWSON'S CREEK – "HIGH RISK BEHAVIOR"**

**CHAPTER 1**

David Rossi had been intoxicated before. He'd been drunk a time or two in the past, too. And on VERY rare occasions, he got shit faced.

And this was one of those few and far between times.

He knew this for many reasons. First, he couldn't feel his tongue or nose anymore. In fact, he hadn't felt so much as a twinge since Emily had poured the last round of scotch into his glass over an hour ago. For such a little girl, that woman could drink and curse like a sailor. He had to admit, he was impressed. Hotch had chosen a keeper the second time around. She got his full approval, not something he often granted.

Second, David Rossi was lost in his own house. Or what might as well have been his house, considering he spent eighteen hours a day here anymore, at least when they weren't in the field. Stumbling down the metal staircase into the bullpen, Dave glared over his shoulder at the steps. Freaking uneven steps!

Staggering down the darkened hallway, he tried to remember where the elevator was. It was here last time he checked, he muttered to himself, bracing a hand against the wall to steady himself. And that's when he heard his name being called by that sweet familiar voice.

"Rossi?" JJ called, standing in the doorway to her office. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked, her eyes traveling up and down his obviously wavering body.

"Trying to find the damn elevator. Shhhh! Don't let it know I'm looking! It'll move again!" he hissed, dragging a forefinger to his lips.

"I'm pretty sure it's the same place it always was," JJ sighed, beginning to move toward him as he sagged against the wall. Dealing with an obviously drunk Rossi was not exactly on her to-do list for the day, but apparently it had just been added.

"Tell the truth!" Dave growled. "You moved it didn't you!" he said, pointing accusingly at JJ.

"Beg pardon?" JJ said, fighting a smile at the unlikely sight just in front of her. Oh, she'd heard the stories about the great David Rossi and his tendency to over-imbibe, but she'd never actually gotten a birds-eye view before.

"I thought you liked me, JJ," Rossi sighed morosely, collapsing completely against the concrete wall as he waved his hand in front of his eyes. Damn spots. Always appearing at the most inconvenient moments.

"Only God knows why, but I do like you, Rossi," JJ said with the same tone that she used on her nieces when they pouted. Looking the world-famous profiler up and down once again, JJ pursed her lips as she said, shaking her head, "Any special reason you're looking for the missing elevator?"

"Huh?" Rossi asked, face scrunched in confusion as he blinked twice, trying to figure out which one of the JJ's was talking to him. Oh, good. They finally merged into one again.

"El..e…va..tor…." JJ said slowly, reaching out a quick hand to steady him as he started to lean farther and farther.

"Yeah! Thass it! Vator!" Rossi said with sudden brightness, his words starting to blend with each syllable. "Need vator to go home!"

"Oh, I don't think so," JJ said with a sudden shake of her blonde head. She could hear the headlines now. "World Famous FBI Profiler Three Sheets to the Wind While Driving Four Thousand Pound Vehicular Missile on the Beltway and Leading Local Cops on Merry Chase. Details at Eleven." And who would have to deal with the press? Jennifer Jareau. Oh, no, she thought. Not on her watch.

Pulling slightly at his arm, she said firmly as she sought to redirect his motions, "Come with me, David."

"Nuh uh," Dave said, tugging his arm back. "Gotta go. I've got someone waiting on me," he said indignantly.

"You can call her from my office," JJ said with a roll of her blue eyes. Whoever she was, she was gonna owe her for this.

"Who?" Dave asked, confused. Why did women always seem to speak in circles?

"The someone that you've got waiting on you," JJ groaned.

"Mudgie can't answer the phone," Rossi said, shaking his head. He added, whispering confidentially, leaning precariously toward her, "I was gonna try to teach him, you know, but he ate my phone. " Pressing a finger to his lips and missing his mouth, he said dramatically, "Shhhhh about that though, cause I told Garcia that I dropped it in my pond. Didn't want her doing surgery on my mutt to get the parts out, you know."

The dog. He was talking about his dog. Why did that thought send a thought send such an unexpected thrill through her? "The dog will be fine, Rossi. If he's got food and water, he'll be okay," she explained, reaching for his arm again. "Right now, we're going to sit you down before you fall down. Now, move."

"You're bossy," Dave griped, even as he allowed her to pull him away.

"Some men like that," JJ muttered, slowly easing him away from the wall.

"Only the ones that can't find their hands around your body with two hands," Dave humphed as he tried to stop the ringing in his ears.

Eyes widening at his words, JJ gasped, "Rossi, you're lit!"

"I am NOT a shit!" Dave retorted indignantly, completely mishearing. "I'm reformed!"

"Yeah, you LOOK real reformed right now," JJ grunted as he dropped a heavy arm around her shoulders.

"You know, you aren't as nice as you've got people fooled into thinking," Dave complained. "Sweet and unassuming, my ass!"

"You can call me whatever you want, Dave," JJ said, forcing him to put one foot in front of the other as she steered them down the darkened hallway, "But right now you and I are gonna find that nice couch in your office."

Balking suddenly, Rossi muttered, "Nuh uh. "

"Dave," JJ started patiently, tightening her grip on his sports jacket as he swayed, "It's just a few steps…."

"Don't say steps, JJ," Rossi said, clamping his hand tighter on her shoulder. Staring at her in drunken horror, he said, eyes wide, "Those steps hated me. Tried to kill me. They grew, JJ. Seriously!"

Biting back the grin that suddenly tried to escape again, JJ wondered if there was any way she could get this little fiasco on video, because she was certain this man was not going to remember a word of this in the morning. Patting his hand on her shoulder, she said sweetly, "I won't let the steps commit murder, Dave. How about we have a change of plans and find my couch instead?"

"'Kay!" Rossi said cheerfully, his mind no longer on the homicidal stair steps. Grinning loopily down at the blonde, he asked with wiggling eyebrows, "I've never been to your apartment, JJ. Damn shame, too!"

"Dave!" JJ rolled her eyes as she weaved side to side with him, turning him slowly in the opposite direction. "We're not going to my apartment. We're going to my office. There's a couch in there, remember?"

"You're no fun! I'm entertaining, especially when I have my alcohol," he said, happily lifting the bottle of scotch he'd had gripped in his hand for her to see.

"Uh, uh," JJ shook her head, reaching for the bottle he waved in front of her nose. "Give me that!" she snapped out, her eyes daring him to disobey. She could only imagine the havoc he could wreak if he managed to get the rest of that 80 proof out of the bottle and into his system.

"Heyyy!" he frowned, surprisingly managing to shift deftly out of her reach. "Hands off! This liquor is older than you are! I only bring it out for special occasions. And when I have to get Hotch drunk. Damn fool can only get whacked on the good shit! MY good shit! But I'm a good friend! I share!"

"Oh God! You got Hotch drunk?" JJ groaned, flashing a look over her shoulder toward the bullpen. Her worst fears had just been realized. The team's best known imbiber had managed to convert a few others to his way of life. Shaking her head, she reminded herself that she could only deal with one of them at a time, and the one she had right now was a doozy.


	2. Chapter 2

**DRUNK AND DISORDERLY CONDUCT**

**PROMPT: DAWSON'S CREEK – "HIGH RISK BEHAVIOR"**

**CHAPTER 2**

"Yep!" Dave grinned sloppily. "Emily, too. Want me to get you drunk? I don't wanna let you feel left out. But Emily said you were still breastfeeding so..." he said, leering down at her bosom.

"Eyes up here!" JJ retorted sharply as she felt his gaze stray lower than it should have.

"Just admiring," Dave said innocently, leaning heavier against her as they came closer to her office. Placing a hand over his heart, or as close as he could get to it, he said, piously, "I'm a gent'man, JJ. Mama always said so."

"And my Mama said to stay away from men like you," JJ muttered. Breathing a quick sigh of relief as they finally reached her office door, she kicked it open hard as she said, smiling tightly, "Here we are, Dave. Your home away from home."

Looking surprised, Rossi glanced haphazardly around the small overcrowded room as he clucked, "Nuh uh. I might be drunk, but I know my home. This ain't it."

Releasing another long-suffering sigh, JJ pasted a large fake smile on her lips as she said, cheerfully, "For tonight it is, Dave." Pushing him the last few steps toward the sofa, she said firmly, "We're gonna pretend that this lovely couch is your bed at Little Creek."

Glancing at the couch then back up at her, Rossi threw a lopsided grin at her, twirling the bottle in his fingers. "You trying to get me into bed, JJ? Cause I gotta tell you….."

Slapping a hand to his still moving lips, JJ shook her head as she warned firmly, "Careful, Rossi. Don't say something you might not get to live to regret."

"I'll give you this, Tidbit...you've got spunk," Dave smiled drunkenly, saluting her with his bottle.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, JJ slipped the bottle from his slackened hand. Hallelujah, she thought. Now is she could just get him down and asleep, she'd be batting a thousand.

"Hey! That's stealing!" he accused loudly as she moved away from him to place the nearly empty bottle on her desk.

"It's for your own good," JJ told him tersely. "And mine," she added under her breath as she moved across her office. Grabbing a bottle of water from her mini-fridge, she frowned at him as she pressed the chilled plastic into his hand. "Hydrate, Rossi," she ordered sternly. "And tell me where you left Hotch and Emily. I've gotta make sure they're okay for the night."

"Ohhhh, I'd say those two are gonna be just fine," he winked conspiratorially. "When I stumbled out of his office, Emily was making her move, I do believe!" He paused for a moment, trying to remember. " At least I think that was a move," he mused. "She was straddling his lap and reaching for..."

"Okay! I get the point," JJ said, raising a hand and squeezing her eyes shut at the mental image of what was very probably going on in the office upstairs. "Just stop talking, Rossi!" JJ groaned.

"Now, don't go gettin' prudish on me," Dave sighed. "You had to have done it at least ONCE. You got Henry, after all," Dave winked again.

"Doesn't mean that I want to hear the drunken details of my friends, thank you very much," JJ snapped back quickly, taking advantage of his distraction to easily push him down onto the leather sofa.

Landing against the fabric with a plumpf, Dave grumbled as he struggled to hold onto the water, "No fair. You caught me off guard." Frowning petulantly, he said, "You're not playing fair anymore."

"All's fair in love and war, Dave," JJ replied sternly. Pointing at the water, she added, "Don't make me tell you again. Drink that and maybe you'll dilute that distillery that used to be your liver."

"My liver," Dave said haughtily as he sprawled on the couch, "is perfectly content. It told me so. It appreciates the Glenlivet, you know."

"I swear to God, Rossi, you are more difficult than my six-month-old son!" JJ exclaimed, popping both hands on her hips.

Jerking his head suddenly, Rossi said, his train of thought already changing, "Where is the munchkin, anyway?" Leaning precariously over the edge of the sofa, he tried to peer under it, only to mutter, "Nope, not there."

"I'm not in the habit of hiding my son under the furniture, Dave," JJ said, rolling her eyes. Glaring at him, she added, pointedly, "And tonight's definitely not a good night to expose him to his Uncle Dave, now is it?"

"Hey!" Rossi exclaimed, offended, as he struggled valiantly to straighten up, but failing mightily. "The kid loves me!"

"Well, the kid, as you call him," JJ continued, giving up and pressing a hand against Rossi's shoulder as he tipped again, "is spending quality time with his Auntie Penny. She said she wanted a night with a man who would actually listen to her for a change."

"Huh?" Rossi scrunched his face, confused at her words, as he once again attempted to right himself on the sofa.

"Oh, never mind," JJ said, rolling her eyes back in her head again as she prayed for strength. Explaining the path to destruction that Derek Morgan was driving on to David Rossi right now would be an exercise in futility. Plus, she'd just have to do it again when he was sober. God knew, none of them could burden Hotch with anything else.

Pursing his lips, Dave narrowed his eyes on the tiny blonde, once again shifting thoughts. "You need to start getting back out there again, JJ. You spend way too much time worrying about everybody else."

"That's because you people are so good at giving me things to worry about," JJ grumbled, lifting Rossi's legs onto the sofa.

"Hey! I've been a good boy!" Dave argued, swigging his water and making a face of distaste. Glancing up at her, he whined, "My scotch is better."

"Yeah, Dave," JJ muttered, ignoring his complaint about the water, "getting three sheets to the wind is the way to convince me that you're on the road to sainthood."

"Everybody needs to cut loose every now and again," he shrugged negligently, wriggling his legs as he tried to find a comfortable spot. "You oughta try it. Emily could give you lessons," Dave chuckled with a conspiratorial smile.

"I don't think so," JJ groaned, trying to burn the thoughts of her friend and her boss out of her mind. "And when both of them realize that you're the reason they're acting so out of character, I'm not gonna shield you when the bullets start flying around here."

"Oh, come on! This has been years in the making and you know it," Dave huffed, rolling his eyes, and then regretted it immediately. Damn, who started spinning the room again?

"Maybe," JJ granted with a half nod.

"There's truth in liquor, ya know," Rossi continued sagely, resting his head against the armrest of the sofa. "Causes a man to say things, do things, he might not be brave enough to do sober. In vino veritas."

"Okay, Dave," JJ said slowly, meeting his drunken eyes, "When you get all philosophical on me and start quoting Latin, then I know it's beddy bye time."

"Not sleepy," he rolled out belligerently, belying his words with a large noisy yawn.

"Yeah, so you say," JJ smirked, reaching for the thin throw on the edge of her sofa. Tossing the edge toward him, she said, "Here, Dave. Cover up and close those eyes. You'll thank me in the morning."

"Rather thank you now," Rossi muttered, deftly catching the throw. JJ felt herself falling as he pulled on one end, tugging her down against him on the narrow sofa.


	3. Chapter 3

**DRUNK AND DISORDERLY CONDUCT**

**PROMPT: DAWSON'S CREEK – "HIGH RISK BEHAVIOR"**

**CHAPTER 3**

"Dave!" She exclaimed, pushing against him as she attempted to right herself. "What in the world are you doing?"

"Gettin' comfy," he said, shifting on the narrow couch and pulling her closer, tucking her body against his with practiced skill. "I need a pillow," he said, resting a cheek against her shoulder. Then he raised his head, frowning. "You're bony," he complained, poking at her shoulder with one finger.

"I am NOT bony," JJ muttered, jerking away from him in irritation. Bony! How dare he? The man was positively going to be responsible for driving her to drink. Or forcing her to be committed to the nearest mental institution for a very long, well-deserved break from this present version of reality.

"Well, you won't let me rest my head on the comfy parts," Dave huffed, drunkenly aggrieved as he dropped his hand to her hip.

"David Rossi!" JJ said, rolling away quickly from him as his body weight followed hers. Directly into the floor. "Now look what you did," JJ groaned deeply, picking herself up off the uncomfortable floor and easily shifting back to the edge of the couch.

"JJ," Dave moaned pitifully, his eyes staring up at her in drunken confusion. "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"Serves you right," she muttered as she stared down at him, wondering if it would be considered poor taste to leave him there for the rest of the night. Deciding finally that it would be slightly tacky, she frowned as she said, nudging him with her foot, "Dave, you're a big boy, and I'm not going to let you sleep on the floor. Give me your hand."

"You'll just drop me again," Rossi snorted petulantly, shaking his head as he pouted from his spot on the floor.

"I promise not to let you bounce more than once," JJ replied with a saccharine smile. Waving her hand to get his attention again, she cajoled, tiredly, "Come on, Dave. Upsy Daisy."

Grabbing her hand, Rossi easily laced his fingers with hers as he suddenly tugged mightily, catching her off guard as she tumbled down again, landing in a huff on top of him. "Gotcha!" he grinned, wrapping his hands around her waist.

"Dave!" JJ exclaimed for the umpteenth time that evening, "This is not helping matters!"

"But it's helping me," he assured her, his eyes widening as he stared into her beautiful baby blues. "Damn, you're gorgeous, woman."

"And you're drunk, Rossi," JJ told him with a frown. Wriggling in his grip, JJ was surprised to feel his arms tightening around her. "Dave," JJ said reasonably, "I can't get up."

"I can so get it up!" Dave blustered, completely mishearing her words, yet again. "I don't even NEED those pills that doctor tried giving me!"

"That not what I...Oh HELL!" JJ groaned, dropping her head to his shoulder and beating her forehead against it as she realized what he'd just said. "For the love of all that's holy, Rossi, QUIT TALKING!"

"I will not! You insulted my masculinity! The masculinity of a red-blooded Italian man," Dave grumbled huffily. "Amends must be made, Jennifer," Dave growled.

"I'm not making amends with a man that's saturated in scotch! Besides, I didn't...oh, forget it!" JJ groaned.

"I will not forget it," Rossi declared, nimbly shifting her tiny body as he added, cryptically, "And I'm gonna make sure you don't either."

Raising her head at his words, JJ narrowed her eyes as she said, warningly, "Dave, I don't know what you have up your sleeve right now…."

"Nothing in my sleeve but my arm, JJ," Rossi said, keeping his slightly inebriated eyes trained on hers.

"Look, Dave, Mama always said not to argue with drunks and fools, and right now, you're falling into both categories," she snapped, stiffening her legs as she started to shift away from him.

"Hey! I'm not an idgit!" Rossi said, his denial exhibited in his afflicted tone.

"A what?" JJ asked, stopping her planned escape as she stared down at him in confusion.

"An idgit," Rossi stated again. "You know. Idgit. Moron."

"You mean an idiot, Dave?" JJ asked, wondering for at least the fifth time in the last five minutes how she had ever gotten herself into this situation.

"Yeah, that's the word!" he exclaimed happily, taking advantage of her momentary confusion to once again wrap his hands around her waist.

"Okay, Dave," JJ sighed, reaching down to wrap her hands around his, stilling their movement. "We're getting out of the floor. Now."

"Nuh, uh," Dave denied belligerently. "I'm finally getting comfortable," he grinned, settling her body more firmly against his.

"Well, I'm not." JJ stated emphatically, ignoring the feelings of her body against his. "And you won't be either in the morning when all this comes rolling back in a sober state."

"You dumped the asshole, didn't you?" Rossi asked with a slight narrowing of his eyes, his mind once again swinging in a new direction.

"Huh? What the hell does Will have to do with any of this?" JJ asked with a frown, again wondering how his inebriated mind was able to still even function.

"Answer the question, JJ," he demanded, his eyes suddenly appearing far more sober than she knew him to be.

"Not that I understand why it's important now, " JJ said, deciding that humoring him could possibly help her in the long run, "But yes, Will and I are no longer together. But you knew that already, Dave."

"Wanted to hear you say it again before I do this," Rossi said mysteriously.

But it was only a second before JJ suddenly understood his great secret. His hand easily buried in her blonde hair, easing her head down as he raised his own, he pressed his lips against hers.


	4. Chapter 4

**DRUNK AND DISORDERLY CONDUCT**

**PROMPT: DAWSON'S CREEK – "HIGH RISK BEHAVIOR"**

**CHAPTER 4**

Tearing her lips away from his a moment later, JJ growled as she pushed against his chest, "What the hell was that about?"

Shrugging, Dave cocked his head against the floor. "That depends on if you enjoyed it."

"Beside the point, you drunken ass," JJ bit out, her eyes flashing. "Just because you're dead ass drunk doesn't excuse you from playing with other people's feelings," she huffed, digging her knee into his groin as she struggled to rise. "I'm trying to be nice here!"

"Ow, dammit," Rossi cursed as he winced in pain. For a tiny thing, she definitely packed a mean punch.

"Serves you right," JJ muttered, shifting onto her knees beside him as she somehow resisted the urge to do him more bodily harm.

Rolling roughly onto his side, Rossi struggled to a sitting position as he grabbed for her hand, the sudden movement apparently dulling his reflexes as he watched her easily slip out of reach.

"Not this time, David Rossi," JJ said, her eyes flashing down at him. "I think you and I are finished playing footsie for the evening."

"Dammit, JJ," Rossi grunted, this time managing to find and keep her hand despite her efforts, "I was serious there!"

"Serious when?" JJ asked dubiously, rolling her eyes. "Serious when you got Hotch and Emily drunk? Serious when you lost the elevator? Or serious when you just made a pass at me?"

"All three," Dave replied, blowing out an irritated breath. "You could at least give me a chance here," Dave muttered.

"To what?" JJ snapped. "Get laid? Lead me on? Give you a chance to what?" JJ asked, firing her questions in rapid succession.

Grabbing his head, Dave begged, "Babe, stop screaming."

"You ain't heard nothing yet, Rossi. All those rumors are all true, aren't they?" she hissed, glaring at him.

"What rumors?" he asked, trying to keep her in focus as he leaned back against the edge of her sofa.

"You know damn well what rumors I'm talking about," JJ ground out angrily, poking his shoulder for emphasis. "You and your damn reputation. A girl in every port, right, Rossi?" She laughed, then, sarcastically, as she added, "Or in your case, every office, bar and watering hole from here to Baltimore and back."

"I don't know who you've been listening to, JJ, but they've got old intel," Rossi said slowly, trying to figure out why she seemed to suddenly be so angry.

"I don't think so, you jackass," JJ sneered, trying to turn away as she added, "Once a bastard, always a bastard."

Grabbing her arm quickly, Rossi said with a growl, "So I was a sack of shit once upon a time. I think I told you earlier that I've changed. And it's the truth."

"Prove it," JJ said sharply, suddenly wondering why it was so important to her that he even try. How had this night taken such a turn into the serious?

"Answer me this question. Since I've come back to the Unit, have you seen me with another woman?" Rossi said simply, his mind suddenly clearing as he stared into her brilliant baby blue eyes.

"I don't track your movements," JJ said piously, refusing to meet his eyes. "I HAVE a life."

"Funny girl," Dave muttered as he massaged his throbbing temples. He knew how to get over a hangover, but honestly, he'd thought he was going to have more time for the process.

Frowning, JJ grabbed another bottle of water from the small fridge and tossed it to him. "Drink it...all of it."

Taking a swig of the cold water, Dave began to feel the cobwebs melting away. Gazing across the floor at where she stood, arms crossed over her chest, staring daggers at him, he fought an audible groan. Tilting his head, he asked, "You gonna hold ALL men responsible for what that dickhead put you through...or am I special?"

"Oh you're special all right," JJ mumbled. "And in response to your other question, it seems to me that you and my late boyfriend were cut from the same cloth. Neither one of you evidently knows when to keep your pants zipped."

"Dammit, woman, don't paint me with the same brush as that son of a bitch," Rossi said with a growl. "Will LaMontagne was a damn fool to give you up for some quick roll in the hay."

"Sounds like you know exactly what you're talking about," JJ threw back at him as she clenched her jaw, deciding then and there that she was definitely tired of this conversation. "I imagine your rolls in the proverbial hay were the stuff locker-room legends were made of."

Wincing as he pushed up, using the couch for leverage, Rossi took another fast gulp of the cold water, knowing he needed all of the help he could get right then. Swallowing, he said, "Again, JJ, it's in the past. And understand this. I am not LaMontagne nor will I ever be."

"So you say, Rossi. So you say," JJ said, her voice ice cold. "I expected nothing less than complete denial. Unless, of course, you wanted to brag about your conquests. I hear that's…."

Crossing the room quicker than he thought possible on wobbly knees, Rossi gently grabbed her shoulders as he interrupted her tirade. "You wanna know about my conquests? You wanna hear the sordid details from the past few years?"

"I have no intention of standing here and listening to you brag about…." JJ blustered, attempting to pull away as fingers tightened ever so slightly.

"Nothing, JJ. There's nothing to brag about," Rossi finished for her. He added, for good measure, "Not since I rejoined the unit. I've not so much as been on a first date, blind date, or one-night-stand. Nada. Zilch. Nothing at all."

"Like I believe that," JJ spat out, turning to look away. Just what she needed, she thought angrily. Another drunk man making another drunken claim that would fade away in the light of day.

"Believe what you want, but I'm telling the truth," Dave replied. Sighing, Dave closed his eyes, suddenly tired. "Haven't you ever heard that saying, "If you want an honest answer, ask the drunk?""

"I've heard it," JJ grumbled in acknowledgement.

"You wanna know why I got drunk tonight, JJ? Ask me. I dare you. Ask me," he insisted, bracing one arm on either side of her against the desk.


	5. Chapter 5

**DRUNK AND DISORDERLY CONDUCT**

**CHAPTER 5**

Realizing that he wasn't going to turn loose of the issue, JJ growled in resignation, "Fine, Rossi! Why did you get drunk tonight?"

"Because I was sick and tired of going home night after night to an empty home, where there's no one to share any of this shit that we see on a regular basis," he said readily, his eyes never leaving hers. "For once, I wanted to forget this crap, to forget everything." He then added, much softer, " I wanted to forget you."

"What the hell…." JJ asked, her eyes snapping to his, surprise flitting behind her gaze. "David…."

"I wanted to forget having to work beside you day after day, night after night, and knowing that somehow, you're off limits. I wanted to forget your beautiful smile, the way you instinctively know exactly what to say, the soft lilt in your voice, the rare touch of your hand." He shook his head then, snorting as he cursed, "Dammit, I'm getting soft in the head to tell you all of this, cause I can tell you ain't listening to a word I say."

"And now, I KNOW you're drunk," JJ groaned, placing a hand on his chest and walking him backward to the sofa. God knew they needed the distance right then, she told herself resolutely. "Lie down, Dave, and I promise, I'll never remind you of a thing you've said tonight tomorrow."

"You still think I'm just blowing smoke, don't you?" Rossi muttered, dropping to the sofa in agitation. He was far more sober than he had intended to be, damn it.

"I think you're intoxicated. How much of that stuff did you actually have," JJ murmured, shooting a questioning glance to the bottle on her desk.

"Evidently, not nearly enough," Dave muttered, taking his own lingering glance at the bottle in question. Sighing, he asked, hoarsely, "What'll it take, JJ? How do I convince you? Hell, it took nearly half a bottle of liquid courage to say anything at all to you!"

Licking her lips, JJ stared at the man in front of her. Propping her hands on her hips, she eyed him seriously, the words suddenly coming out of her mouth. "If you can tell me all the things you did tonight in the cold light of day...SOBER...we'll see," JJ offered, pushing Dave back into a reclining position, resisting the urge to curl up next to him and wait for morning with him.

Feeling his eyes growing heavier, Dave nodded, willing to take whatever olive branch she was offering. Rooting his head against the leather, he mumbled, "You're on, Jareau. You're on.

Backing away silently, JJ shook her head as she turned off her office lights and gathered her coat, purse and keys. Sparing one last longing glance at the man slumbering on her couch, JJ shook her head with a touch of unexpected sadness. It was a nice thought. But there was no way David Rossi would remember any of this in the morning.

***

As JJ walked into her office at 7:30 the next morning, she did what she always did. She started the coffee in the break room, trudged down the long hallway to her office and flipped on the office lights. In other words, everything that she always did, running into no unexpected challenges along her way.

But what she didn't expect to find was David Rossi, awake and alert, sitting on her sofa, staring back at her. Watching as he raised his finger to her before she could even speak, she saw him lift his other hand, holding a breathalyzer. Blowing quickly into it, all the while still holding up one finger, he waited as the machine beeped.

Rising he crossed the room to where she stood, braced against her office door. Showing her the device in his hand, his deep voice resonated off the walls as he said, "I'm sober. And I believe we had a deal, Jareau."

And for that moment, JJ felt herself start to smile as she stared up into his serious face, knowing that David Rossi was about to keep his promise.

And when his lips suddenly touched hers, this time she didn't push away.

**_FINIS_**


End file.
